*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down -37

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops