What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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PENIS

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

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