What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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