Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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hi

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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