a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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