(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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