A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Women's rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops