What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Internet Explorer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A mormon walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

thumb_up thumb_down -9

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is older than history?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops