why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops