What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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