What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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