Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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