hello

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

thumb_up thumb_down -47

If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Do you play piano? No

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops