Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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HELLO EVERYONE

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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