Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

What's red and can sing? Elmo

bangers and mash?

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

Killing your friend as a joke.

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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