If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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