Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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bangers and mash?

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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