What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops