How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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