Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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