why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -12

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

thumb_up thumb_down -12

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Communism hehe xd

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops