How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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