Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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