What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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