Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Everybody will die

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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