How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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