Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Women.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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