Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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