there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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