why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

my penis

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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