Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops