why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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