Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

your momma is so fat she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the man say to the other man? hey

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops