How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Q:the is a mexican and a black guy in the car who id driving? A:the cop

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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