Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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9/11 my birthday

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops