What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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