What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Ross.

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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LET

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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