patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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