Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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