Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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What's 9+10? 19

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops