How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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