That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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