Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops