Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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