- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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were you expecting a joke

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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