So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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