Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops