Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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it was all Tagart

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops