What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops