I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops