If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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