How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

rarw

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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