Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops