Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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womens rights

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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