What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Dwarf Shortage

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops