Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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