What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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BIG MAC'S

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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